There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
