i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
