So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
