wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
