Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
