i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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