I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
