if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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