you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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