S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
