You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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