So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
