why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
