he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
