the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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