i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
