We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
