my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
