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• (810): View more from Michigan

  My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  either way. win, win.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Good luck

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"

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• (716): View more from New York

  We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.

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• (424): View more from California

  My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?

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• (315): View more from New York

  Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.

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• (660): View more from Missouri

  He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending

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