I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
The ass gains better be worth it
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