At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
