She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
