??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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