apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
