I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
