Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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