Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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