I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
