Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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