..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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