Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
