That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
