just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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