come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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