is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
