We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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