So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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