it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
