i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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