So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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