i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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