yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Randomize
