i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
