We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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