i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy