i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
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i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
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she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"