The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
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Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
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Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat