I think I am morally bankrupt
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.