I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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