this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
