Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
