Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
