I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
how drunk are you?
Several
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
