dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
