it was like eating out sand paper
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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