Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
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