sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
