It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
