Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
