Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
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His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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