bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
