I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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