You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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