i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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